Mit tehetek magamért?

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Mit tehetek magamért?

A mindennapi élet sokat követel tőlünk. A munkahelyi stressz, a párkapcsolati válságok, a teljesítménykényszer, az anyagi nehézségek többek között ahhoz vezetnek, hogy egyesek elveszettnek érzik magukat. Vannak, akik ezeket a stresszhatásokat alkohol vagy más drogok fogyasztásával próbálják kezelni. Ez azonban semmin sem javít. Ellenkezőleg, ha a fogyasztás kicsúszik a kezünkből, az nemcsak az érintett személy, hanem a családja számára is problémává válik. Az önmagunkkal való törődés mindenki számára fontos. Bármilyen nehézségei vannak is az embernek.

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Magunkba nézni… Mit jelent ez?

Talán egy kicsit elvont… De azt mondhatnánk, hogy az „önmagunkra figyelés” azt jelenti, hogy komolyan vesszük magunkat, és elnézőek és kedvesek vagyunk önmagunkkal. Ehhez mindannyiunknak joga van, különösen akkor, amikor nem érezzük jól magunkat. De furcsa módon ilyenkor különösen nehéznek találjuk, hogy vigyázzunk magunkra.

Hol kezdjem?

A szerhasználat olyan sok teret foglalhat el, hogy a legegyszerűbb mindennapi dolgokat is elhanyagoljuk, mint például az evés, a megfelelő légzés, a fogmosás vagy a zuhanyzás. El tudja képzelni, hogy ezek közül a dolgok közül EGYET kiválaszt, és gondoskodik róla, hogy azt ma gondosan megtegye?

Mi a jó nekem?

Mikor tette fel magának utoljára ezt a kérdést?

Amikor az élet nehéz, néha elfelejti, hogy még a kis dolgok is jót tehetnek Önnek. Hogy megtudja, mik lehetnek ezek a dolgok: Vegyen egy fehér papírlapot. Írja rá, mit csinált a fogyasztási probléma előtt, ami örömet okozott Önnek. Válasszon ki valamit ebből a listából, és írja fel egy öntapadós cetlire „emlékeztetőül”.

Nem merek segítséget kérni

Büszkeségből, szégyenből vagy félelemből sokszor nem merünk segítséget kérni. De ha jobban körülnéz, gyakran rájöhet, hogy valójában kevésbé van egyedül, mint gondolta volna: vannak szomszédok, ott a többi szülő, családtagok, szakemberek… Meglepődve tapasztalhatja, hogy csak kérni kell, hogy támogatást találjon. A segítségkérés létfontosságú nekünk, embereknek. Amikor segítséget kér, a gyermekeit is támogatja, és pontosan ez az, amit a szülőktől elvárnak. Ezen a világon senki sem tud és nem is kell mindent egyedül cipelnie. Segítséget kérni bátor dolog, és nem a gyengeség jele. És jó példa a gyermekei számára is. Próbálja ki!

Nincs több összehasonlítás

Mindenkinek megvan a saját ritmusa. Légy elnéző magaddal. Ne kérj magadtól egyszerre túl sokat. Gyakran összehasonlítjuk magunkat másokkal: A szomszédunkkal, a testvéreinkkel… És úgy tűnik, mindenkinek jobban megy, mint nekünk. De az emberek különbözőek. Mindenkinek megvan a saját ritmusa. Meglepődnél, hogy hány olyan szülő, aki látszólag mindent kézben tart, tapasztal nehéz helyzeteket. Próbálj meg összeállítani egy listát azokról a dolgokról, amelyekre szülőként büszke lehetsz. Például? Gyakran nevetsz a gyerekeiddel, jól főzöl stb.

Miből áll az életem?

A barátságok 5 éves kortól már fontosak a gyermekek jólétéhez. A barátok játszótársak, akikkel együtt szórakozhatnak, de megtanulják az együttélés szabályait is. Ha gyermeke nagyon magányos, annak oka lehet az is, hogy felelősséget érez Önért, vagy nem meri meghívni magához a barátait. Próbáljon meg beszélni vele erről. Talán attól fél, hogy esetleg ittasnak látják Önr? Ha ez a helyzet, gondolja át a fogyasztását, és gondolja át, hogyan akadályozhatja meg, hogy ez megtörténjen. Mindenképpen bátorítsa gyermekét, hogy találkozzon a barátaival, még akkor is, ha ez csak a saját otthonán kívül lehetséges.

Légy kedves magadhoz!

Legyél együttérző önmagaddal és a helyzeteddel. Valószínűleg sok oka van annak, hogy oda jutottál, ahol most vagy. A függőség betegség. Senki sem betegszik meg szándékosan! Senki nem jókedvéből lesz szenvedélybeteg! Megérdemled a kedvességet és a jóságot, még akkor is, ha ez most nehéz.

Mi van, ha a gyermekeim még nagyon kicsik?

A gyermekek 5-6 éves korukig erősen függenek a szüleiktől, és szinte állandóan szükségük van a figyelmükre. Ne feledje, hogy ez a szakasz el fog múlni, és amikor a gyerekek nagyobbak lesznek, ismét több ideje lesz saját magára. Ha már nem tudja, hol áll a feje: szervezzen maga köré olyan embereket, akik időnként be tudnak segíteni a gyerekeivel való időtöltésben.

Vegyél egy nagy, mély lélegzetet!

Ha már nem tudod, hol áll a fejed: mozdulj ki. Sétálj, mozogj a városodban, a faludban, a természetben… A mozgás serkenti a testet és ellazítja az elmét. A testmozgás mindannyiunknak jót tesz.

El kellene mennem egy önsegítő csoportba?

Az önsegítő csoportban részt vevő emberek mindannyian ugyanazzal a problémával küzdenek, mint te. Az összejövetelek nem arról szólnak, hogy mások felett ítélkezzünk. Jogod van pontosan olyan embernek lenni, amilyen vagy. A cél az, hogy beszélgessünk egymással és segítsünk egymásnak. Semmi más!

Szülő mindenek előtt

Minden szülő felteszi magának a kérdést, „Jó szülő vagyok?”, „Mindent jól csinálok a gyermekemmel?”. Bizonyára Te is felteszel magadnak ilyen kérdéseket. Talán azt is szeretnéd tudni, hogy az alkoholprobléma milyen hatással van a gyermekedre. „Fennáll a veszélye annak, hogy a gyermekemnek később alkoholproblémái lesznek?” „Beszélni kellene vele erről?” „Érzékeli a családunk problémáit?”

A család minden tagja számára megváltozik az élet, ha egy szülő súlyos betegségben szenved. A betegség lehet az alkoholfüggőség, de más betegségek is, mint a rák, a cukorbetegség, a depresszió vagy más testi vagy mentális betegségek.

Ez a néhány oldalas kiadvány a szenvedélybeteg családban élő szülőket szólítja meg.

A kiadvány letölthető.

A Máltai Szeretetszolgálat Fogadó Pszichoszociális Szolgálatainál nyomtatott példányok is elérhetők

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